A Zombie Raccoon Story

Last week, our dog was going nutz barking and pointing to the tree. It was a raccoon going after the roosters! Hubby got his 38, his cane with the hidden blade inside, and went on the hunt to protect the flock. He tried to shoo it away with the cane.

It snarled ready to attack. He shot it... Center mass... The raccoon just stood there in the attack position. Hubby said it just looked at him like, "I can't believe you shot me!" and just stood there. We thought maybe it just died like that in shock. So then after another few minutes, it finally walked away. We thought it probably died in the alley or didn't make it far. 

So last night, I'm in the middle of making some potato au gratin and I heard a shot.. Very close. Hubby goes out to see what's going on, because it was unusual that it was only one shot, if it was gang related or street violence. 

He came back and said, "It was our neighbor Chris across the street. He said he shot a raccoon trying to come into his house with a 38, he said it just stood there, with the 'I can't believe you shot me!' look on it's face. Then it walked away with a trail a blood to the field. I told him the exact same thing happened to me last week" 

 I just look out into the field and said, "What if it's the same raccoon?" 

"That's crazy! That means there's a coon out here with two 38 slugs in it! That's it! I'm using the shotgun next time" 

"It could be a Zombie raccoon.. Most of this zombie video games and movies begin outbreaks with rodents, (sounds familiar with bats and CV19) and then there's a "gain of function" to humans, and bam.. Zombie apocalypse!" 

"You know, you may be right.. I'm going to tell the neighbor to shoot it in the head next time" 

We're both chuckled, but he started to get serious.. "This is how zombie outbreaks start tho" 

 *sighs heavily* "If I go online and find anything about zombie raccoons… " Googled Zombie Rac….

 While I'm staring at the laptop in shock, didn't even click on a link yet, cause I couldn't believe that, "Tucker Carlson talked about Zombie Raccoons?  WTF?" Hubby jumped up and yelled, "That's it!  This is WAR!"  

He leaves out to go tell the neighbor.   

He comes back to tell me that Chris is pissed off at me now.  "WHY DID SHE SAY THAT?!!"  He was playing Resident Evil when he heard the noise of the raccoon. Now he doesn't want to play his game anymore because the shit just got real! The whole storyline is based in RACCOON CITY!  I may have to bake him treats later to apologize.  I had a headache from the multiple mind-blowing coincidences, my thoughts were splattered all over the place, and I went to bed. 💤

So I told a site manager in Dublin, Ohio this whole story today, after he lol'd he said, "You're going to be mad at me, but the same thing happened to me.   I shot a raccoon with a 22.  It was weird because it was 5pm and still daytime.  Then it took off running, so it didn't just sit there in disbelief like your encounters.  But it came back the next day around 3pm.  I thought maybe I was a bad shot.  So this time I got the shotgun." 

"We going to have to spread the word and shoot them in the head.  We are 2yrs behind with this problem.  These stories came out in 2019." 

"WOW!"